Here is a brand new book tag, developed in collaboration with my comrade in cursed, Para of To Other Worlds.
It was inspired by seeing a book tag based on cats elsewhere and thinking “goodness, this is filled with all sorts of cutesy things, where’s all the ones about cats being devious bastards?”
Well, here it is. Ten wonderful cues to talk about books, all based on the time your cat was so far from wonderful they couldn’t have found it even if it smelled of tuna.
Knocking shit off of high places – A book with a cliffhanger
We’ve all seen it right? The majestic leap up high. The tentative dab of the paw at something on the high surface. The crash if you don’t get to them quick enough. Hopefully it wasn’t breakable. Or your wedding ring. But, really, this wasn’t the cat’s fault. It’s yours. Some things shouldn’t be left near cliffs…
The Bone Shard Daughter by Andrea Stewart
This book ends on such a cliffhanger. I’d like to share more about the cliffhanger but obviously it’s a big spoiler, and I can’t. But it was enough of a cliffhanger to feel me quite disgruntled at the time, and now somewhat curious now that The Bone Shard Emperor is coming out.
Howling at 3am – A book you didn’t sleep to finish
To you, it is sleep time. To the cat, it is playtime. Or maybe they’re hungry. Or just evil, for tis the witching hour. Whatever the reason, you should be awake. The cat says so. Some books are similarly insistent…
The House of Binding Thorns by Aliette de Bodard
I lost a lot of sleep to this book. It’s a wonderful mix of gothic imagery, fallen angel mythology, and Vietnamese legends, populated with intriguing characters and mysteries. It started a little slow, but I got hooked with it one night when I thought I’d do a chapter or two before sleep and instead spent the next two hours compulsively reading.
Hiding before a vet visit – A book with a self-destructive character
Some people have a sixth sense for impending calamity. Most cats have a sixth sense for an impending visit to the vet and hide. Who cares if it’s for their own good? We’ve all read someone like that…
Assassin’s Apprentice by Robin Hobb
I love Robin Hobb’s writing. I love her prose, her storytelling, her sense of what’s important. But what I could not get past in this book and its subsequent trilogy is how Fitz is nature’s punching bag and whenever he’s not, he starts punching himself. Why Fitz, why?
The turd dangling from their behind – A sequel that was a bit, er, turd
Sometimes cats eat hair. And sometimes when they do, it gets stuck post-defecation, with a little bit of said defecation attached to it. So when your darling cat goes by and you get excited, you soon realise there’s something horrible behind them. Just like a bad sequel…
The Dragon Lord by Peter Morwood
This one comes a fairly unknown fantasy series that started with a book called The Horse Lord which I liked because it was fun, exciting, and the characters actually felt like they came from a different culture. It had one sequel, The Demon Lord, which was decent but didn’t have the same zing to it. Then came this book, and it’s a mess that feels a bit retconny and a bit unpleasant and very forced and just why.
Puking on the carpet – A book with a betrayal
We all know this one. And we all know it’s not really the cat’s fault. But why now? And especially, why there? Why not a nice easy to clean surface? Right or wrong, it feels like a betrayal…
The Warlord Chronicles by Bernard Cornwell
Not gonna lie, I slightly picked this one because betrayals are obviously spoilers, but this is an Arthur retelling so it’s not a spoiler as you already know what’s going to happen. It’s really well handled here; Cornwell spoiled me for Arthurian retellings in general.
Dragging in live animals – A book with shocking violence
One time I heard a great commotion and looked up to see a pigeon flying up my hallway, pursued by a mighty predator bounding away. I get that you are a mean lean hunting machine, but do you have to bring me the final act to watch? Sometimes it all just seems a little over the top…
Godblind by Anna Stephens
I knew Godblind would be violent going into it. I knew it was marketed as Grimdark. But I really wasn’t expecting a particular scene about, I dunno, 20% of the way in. There’s a lot of books I could name here but that one was the first to come to mind.
Looking you in the eye before misbehaving – A book with a character desperate for attention
It’s one thing to be naughty, nay, malevolent. But to look right at me before you do it? Just to make sure your cry for attention will get attention? Why not lie in front of the television ins- oh, you did that too. Cats just really love attention…
King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo
Nikolai Lantsov is many things in King of Scars. A brave man. A thoughtful man. A mostly good man. But above all, my how he is vain. Nikolai loves to be loved. In the immortal words of the bard Andrew Eldritch, he needs all of the love he can get, and he needs all of the love he can’t get too.
Shredding things- A book with a destructive character
Soft furnishings. Wrapping paper. Your jeans. The loo roll. If a cat can shred it, a cat will shred it. One of my cats once got into a multi-pack of loo roll and pretty much redecorated the house. Some types are just inherently destructive…
The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan
“The Dragon shall be Reborn,
and there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth at his rebirth.
In sackcloth and ashes shall he clothe the people,
and he shall break the world again by his coming”
Says it all doesn’t it. Rand is set up to kill, burn, and destroy and does exactly that for about two million words in just about all the ways imaginable.
Has never been fed, never – A series you can’t get enough of
Whether it’s the incessant yammering whenever in the kitchen, the attempts to trip you up and get their food quicker, or the naked theft from your plate, many cats give the impression of having never been fed before. But hey, we all know what it’s like to be insatiable, right…
Discworld by Sir Terry Pratchett
41 books. 5.625.321 words. Not including all the companions, maps, short stories and so on. Yet I could give so much to have more words in that world. I’ve been reading them for 24 years, and I’m still rereading them and finding new things.
Be so cute you forgive them anyway – A book with a wicked MC you like
This set of tags might make you think I hate cats, but I love my little hyperactive gremlins like few other beings. There’s many reasons for it, but one is they’re so bloody cute. Some characters definitely have that energy too…
The Order of the Stick by Rich Burlew
There’s a lot of less than morally righteous MCs in Rich Burlew’s comic. Haley’s no angel and well, some of the things Vaarsuvius does have been to be seen to be believed. But I’m here talking about Belkar Bitterleaf aka The Belkster aka Death’s Li’l Helper aka Sexy Shoeless God of War. Belkar is just not a good halfling being. He’s not. Now that changes throughout the book, but I start liking him from well before that. Belkar’s just too funny and honest not to. And, as is kinda obvious, sometimes I’m a big fan of just petty evil from the hell of it.
If anyone fancies doing this tag, please do so! I’d love to see people do this. Just credit and link back – we all know the drill. Thanks you for reading and all hail little furred evil overlords everywhere.